We are returning home empty handed

Ok, here is an update in the nutshell. I went through ER, which turned out to be nothing. It was nothing, really, in terms of physical pain. Ok, so the doctor took out two follies. After the procedure the doctor came to me. I knew what he was going to say that the follies were empty. And they were. There were no eggs. He did not recommend that I had more treatment with own eggs. So now genetic babies for me.

I am very sad but also relieved to know the truth. I can stop investing into something that's not to be. But imagine, I knew the answers, I heard them from my G.A. I got a clear answer that there would not be a child. So a lesson I learned from this - to ask for guidance before making important decisions and LISTEN and ACT upon that information - this is hard but will take practice. I promised to myself that I will do it.

Now I decided to forget about DE for now for about one month. I will spend that month until June 17 meditating and talking to my heart and my G.A. asking what I should do next. I will also spend one month loving myself and feeling that love that I have for the most important human being in my life - myself. I want to get in touch with my body and my soul during this time. Thereafter, I will see what I can do about DE's and whether I still want to do it. Now, I want to start healing and helping people. I will create a flyer after May when I become initiated in Reiki 2. I also want to take a few lessons in crisis management. GOing through infertility is going through a long lasting crisis.

I strongly believe that when one door closes, other doors open. I just have to have a clear mind to see what doors are opening for me. For that I need to take care of myself for one month.