clairvoyance for my friend Ye.

Did teleclairvoyance for my friend Ye yesterday. It is amazing, she asks me about one issue but I get answers to another issue in her life, something that is much less important. It was amazing, I could even see that her husband injured his hand, without knowing about it in advance, of course.

But she gave me this advice - open your heart, be childlike, be open to the experiences with H, be open to your experiences in CA, see what happens.Keep being open. She said that things will be OK and that I will have a family.

today's session

During my morning session with my guides, this is the information that came in:
I need to ask my boss for more responsibilities. I do not need to implement the measure in the study as it currently is. I asked about H what should I do if we do not separate and got the answer: love him, give to him when I asked give what? The answer was everything you've got.
I also got a clue that I need to ask about drug development today.

Note 25.1.08 -follow up
I asked my boss yesterday about getting an extra project but she said that she could give me parts of a project. I was not sure what this drug development was and how it fit but the meeting was about business development. Still waiting for H who was supposed to come at 11 but he is not here yet.

Clairvoyance and My promise to myself

I promised myself that I will not schedule any meetings with any clairvoyants until I return from the course in the US because I believe the course will change my future and lift my vibrations. I do not want to have to go to a clairvoyant twice, before and after the course. I also do not want to get a supervision with a clairvoyant until I return from the course as this course and the hypnotic tape I am listening to will improve my psychic abilities. With this hypnotic tape, I already feel that I am full pledged psychic (only after 2 days of the tape.

Already, I can feel that something has changed in the past week. My drive to move back to the states has subsided. I feel that for now I need to stay here.

guidance for today

this what I need to do today, as per my guides.
Get the model, focus on the model, somehow it is very important. At the meeting today I need to be quiet and learn. Ask questions.

I need to wait with the US project.

I am protected, i do not need to worry. This job will take me up the hill, but I will be going up and down and in a straight line. I saw myself going far away. I can also see that I will fly away waiting good bye, I took it that I will say good bye to this job. I saw that something will start happening, some kind of movement, between August 2008 and March 2009. I am protected, i am in the flow.

I also heard laughter when I asked if I need to be concerned about money. I do not need to worry.

H, his sister and my teacher S

yesterday evening H called me to say that his interview went very well. He is having another one in 2 weeks. So let's see what happens.

Then I was having this thought that somehow my meeting with S today for an individual session will not take place. I actually thought that it would be because I will have to attend a meeting at work. I also did not feel like seeing H's sister tomorrow because of everything that happened. Surprizingly there were no meetings at work that i had to attend. However, yesterday, a classmate called that my teacher is sick and the course is going to be rescheduled until February. I now have to reschedule my meeting with her since she is sick, so I am surprized that I felt that the meeting will not take place and it did not. Amazing!

a new friend, new signs, and cafe Schweik

Well, some time ago, I made a wish to make some new friends here as I am feeling very isolated and lonely. Some time after that a girl emailed me about my clairvoyance, she wanted to meet me first in a restaurant to talk to me. I did not know what she wanted actually, she did want clairvoyance, but before we said good bye, she asked me if I am interested in doing something this weekend, going to a museum or meeting for coffee.

My initial reaction was to say that I am not looking for friends but then I remembered that I made a request to get a friend.

So we met today, went to the park. One sign of something was that her husband is from the same place where H is now living which I took as a sign of something. Also, my former roommate and another friend are also from the same city. Why is this city somehow following me around?

She also talked about their trip to N.Cal, how they were in Carmel and how much they liked it. H also liked it very much, they drove to LA via PCH which is what H really liked, so I took it as another sign. I was very surprized she was talking about that.

There were a lot of things we talked about - how her son is growing and developing, how he is now quadrilingual. She told me that it is better to have a positive outlook on life. She also said that she did not have to struggle, things just started happening for her. She and her husband came here, not being married, together. Her in-laws also live where H is living now.

Then she asked me about a movie if I want to see something maybe all of us could go and see it. Somehow it resonated with me, I do not know why. Why is it that this city in Germany is pursuing me?

OK, on the way back I was walking to my car and passed by a cafe called Cafe Schweik. This was a sign that I took that H is saying good-bye to me. We stayed in Prague during fertility treatments next to Cafe Schweik, and here I had to pass one by now. I did not know they had one of those here.

He was staying with his sister this weekend and last weekend and did not call me at all. So we know what is going on. Also Daniel said it will be over in two weeks which is taking us to basically tomorrow. So I am waiting for him to say it is over.

talking to Mary

Today I spoke with Mary, one of my guides. I am very sad , bitter and angry about what happened between H and me. I feel like he disappeared from my life, his energy is totally missing.

I am sad that things did not work out the way I planned -marriage and baby. Looking around at my friend M who is now pregnant, my friend L who had problems and then had a baby and now problems are gone, my friend Ye. who also had problems and after having a baby the problems are now gone, I feel so bitter that it did not happen to me! H and I loved each other so much, what the fuck happened to this love? The love I felt for him was unreal? What killed this love, what made it disappear? What would happen if I dropped everything in the summer and moved with him to Germany? Would I have gotten pregnant?

I asked Mary what I should do to help me move on and deal with the situation. She said that I need to let my grief out first and nourish myself, hug myself and hold myself. things will be ok. I also heard that I will a man and a baby.

I saw that my path is going to bifurcate in q3 2008 (July-Sept) and to me it means that I will have to make a choice. I see that one the choices will lead me through a bridge and a large body of water and another one will keep me here. There is a man somewhere, I think he is across the bridge, I feel love, there are hearts coming out of my heart toward this man. My impression is that if I take the bridge it may be better for me - oh Good God, please help me make the right choice. Please help me be at peace in the NOW.

Someone I love will be across the bridge, but I do not know if he will love me. I see myself with a baby in 2009-2010. I see a man giving me a hug. I see me pregnant with a man who has very strong feelings for me, I had a sense of stability - a husband? and it appears that it will be in 2009.

I also felt that in 3 months (April-May) things will be clear for me at work and in 5 months things will be clear for me in my life (June-July).

In the meantime I need to let go of H.

I met T today

I met T. today the one that my guide told me to be very nice to. He seems very nice and also very attractive.

recap and AF

To recap, I POAS'ed again yesterday night, BFN and this morning, another BFN. This morning, as a present to me, my AF began. So no babies for me for a while.

a double BGN

Did do a POAS thing and got a double BFN on Monday night and Tuesday morning. However when I thought when my AF started last time, it was around the 18th, so if no AF on Saturday, I should POAS again.

focusing on work today the the little bean

Today I was meditating on what I am doing at work. Received instructions - I need to become my colleague M #2 and have solid knowledge about the p.strategies.
Meet with T. to get an overview of the program.

on another note, my little possible bean is hmm, not sure what is happening there. Temp dropped today to 36.9. I started taking progesterone but if no AF tomorrow morning, I will take a test.

feeling down and blue

I am feeling down and blue. Perhaps I need to eat something. Haven't eaten all day today.

But I am feeling unhappy. What I did do is painted a painting for my mother for the upcoming visit. I hope she likes it.

vision of a child

About 2 weeks ago, I saw a vision of a woman angel (I think) giving me a baby, so this is how i know that some kind of baby is coming. I do not know if this is this baby or not, but i am sure something is on its way.

temps

I have been measuring my basal temps and now am seeing a triphasic pattern (2nd day of triphasic pattern). Trying to suspend my disbelief, I have been talking to my guides. It is not clear to me if it is something or not but I did get a message yesterday that I should POAS in 3 days which would make it Tuesday. I asked when I should expect my period, and got strange answer, one was the weekend and then I asked again and got another answer, in weeks. So I do not know anything. It is very difficult for me to stay calm about this particular issue.
Of course, I could not wait and POASed today and it was BFN. I have been seeing this little embryo in my visions, seeing heartbeat, I have been healing myself and asked my guide Mary to heal my uterus which we both took out, healed it, then took out the embryo, and healed it too. Amazing.

Yesterday I felt life inside me, today I am not sure, I want to take this one day at a time. My guides answers about this are a bit shady. Maybe I am forcing them to say something that they shouldn't, but I asked if it is a child what should I do to let it develop, and was shown my closet where I keep progesterone pills. Mary showed me that I should take 3 progesterone pills per day.

It is also very difficult to sleep, I wake up again every day at 5 am.

new way to do clairvoyance

yesterday my friend G. came. I gave her a clairvoyant reading but I used my angel cards for inspiration. It was fantastic. I think I need more cards. It is possible that I should be using tarot. I want to do an internet search to see if I can find unicorn tarot cards.

talking to my fear, what I think about food

Yesterday I spoke to my fear. It was my fear of loss, fear of pain, fear of being alone. This is the dialog:
Me What are you here?
Fear (F) You need to go through this
Me Why
F You need to learn to be alone and content
Me Why?
F Because you will be by yourself for awhile.
Me When, how long?
F Now, for some months and in the old age.
Me Will there be someone in the middle?
F yes. You need to be alone, it is ok to go through the cleansing that will prepare you for the next phase of your life.
Me How do I prepare for it?
F Learn to be in the moment, allow yourself to feel pain/fear, do not shun it away. Talk to it during meditations, see it as your friend and teacher, not your enemy, it will teach you a few lessons. DO NOT FEAR. Continue on your path. Blessings, my child.

What is food for me? OK, I had an image of food patting my stomach and hugging me. I guess the purpose of food is to love me? I got that I need to eat cereal that I am eating now, carrots, tofu, fish, eggs. What represents taking care of myself, love, cravings, pleasure, satisfaction, comfort. I should have more fun with food. I have to have more time to cook for myself during the weekends and enjoy spending time cooking.

I also had this picture of me sitting at the same table with food (food was sitting in a chair opposite to me). We were sitting there, laughing, having fun together. Isn't it nice?

today

Today, I saw Daniel giving me a deck of tarot cards. They have a unicorn on them. Also, the girl yesterday said that the right deck will find you itself.

I also feel I need to wait until the right deck comes to me and not rush to buy one.

I asked what should I focus on today and got the answer - VD. It is the most important thing today. The thing is to be careful when expressing my opinions. I also asked who is a very important person and got an answer that it would be T.

I forgot

OK, that US project is most likely going to be delayed. One of the companies is doing some research and will not do a deal with us until that research is over. It could be 6 months.

a client and tarot cards

I had a client today who told me about the tarot cards. She is a very soulful girl, an old soul. However, she is the forth person who told me about the tarot cards. This is a very powerful message that I should look into the tarot. She also mentioned that I could learn about physiognomy and and palm reading.

I did not have so much info opening up for her, but had a lot about her boyfriend when I could sense a picture. She showed me a picture of another guy, and I could feel a lot of energy, aggression, anger from him. I saw him hitting a thing like you do to practice boxing. To her this message meant that he was fighting a lot in his life. I also described him quite accurately.

I had an urge to give her a candy box. A very strong feeling, so I gave it to her. Overall it went great. We had an amazing connection. When she left, she asked if she could give me a hug.

More clairvoyance and instructions for my work

Yesterday my clairvoyance tele-session went so so. Somehow when i asked about the person's issues, I am somewhat right but I see other issues than the person. Could it be that I am examining it on a soul level and the person may not be aware?
Yesterday she asked me if I use tarot cards, so it may be something. Again, I am getting this thing about tarot cards but do not get the message about buying them.

I had a thought about going to get supervision with Ea.C. Today I asked my guide and he said that I should wait a couple of weeks. I asked about my work and this is what I got
Be nice to T., the advisor
I should go to the congress in Norway
Do not need to go to the US next week

I was instructed to express my disappointment to my boss that I did not have a strategic role as I expected. However I can say that I like being there and like what I am doing, like working with M, so for now I can accept this because I am thinking to use this as a mentoring opportunity to get exposure since she has so much experience working with other country offices and pushing them. Maybe we could have mentoring meetings, but I want to find different word for mentoring. I should be very open with them. I also should state that I would like to start putting plans on how I will lead this strategic role.

I asked why I cannot sleep and was told that my body is going through a cleansing process to prepare for a pregnancy. Things are coming out, a lot is going on with me right now.

I also got a message that I left my cellphone in my car. I could not find it last night.

more clairvoyance

I spoke to my main guide today again. This is the advice I received:
take care of your financial things
Forgive (yourself) in the situation with H
Things will be just fine
Do not go to a clairvoyant to know about the future, save your money
Start thinking of finding a new place to live
Something will happen in May
/I also remembered what Ea...., the clairvoyant said to me that I will be invited to the US and it appears that may be invited. I need to reread my diary where I wrote it down/
Be in the NOW.
He also told me that my relationship with H is now over and I should move on.
A brand new life is starting for me. It is a new beginning.

There was more, I just cannot remember it all. Next time I will have a pen next to me.

My friend M is still pg. She wanted to know if she is carrying twins or not, which is possible, I see it both ways, twins or singlets. She will know in 3 weeks.
My clairvoyance for her co-worker yesterday went so well. I even knew where her boyfriend has an apartment, in what part of the city. I also could see that her mother is sick and that her issues now are with her mother. She is having issues with her mother, but she did not want to ask about it. She mentioned this at the end. I saw her boyfriend proposing to her and she said that she proposed to him so they ARE getting married. I saw a man who was not a father but a relation to her barely walking, there was problem with him walking, he walked slowly and her FIL had a surgery on her knee last week.

I was able to characterize her boyfriend from a picture. Things were flowing much more. I really need to trust this information. Things were coming about her work, her manager, I was hearing messages (channeling) so I was relaying the messages to her. Like her boss is a sleaseball, and he is.

So I look forward to my client today and tomorrow.

advice from Daniel

i got advice from Daniel today that whatever H starts doing, I should not react to it. Just be calm and do not react. I also should work on being in the moment. But right now I need to keep advice about H in mind. I also was told that I need to forgive him, so I had a session with H where we both forgave each other, he did so after some resistance.

messages from the guide

I spoke to my main guide, Daniel. I saw him at the very beginning and now I saw him again and got to know his name. He told me that my relationship with H is going to be over soon. He said two weeks which will be around 21 January.

I asked about my love life. He told me, do not look for love, it will find you. My impression was that it will happen this year. I also saw a guy, he has blond hair. I asked him what I should do to go through this pain, all alone. He said to me that I am not alone. I have my divine support. I have many guides. He also gave me a hug. I said but what about real people? He showed me my friend M and said that she will help me and then told me to make an appointment with S, my healer. He said that I should proceed with the path I am on now - my new job and my new hobby. I asked what I should focus on the most right now and he said, the model. This is the model my colleague and I discussed today for England. Now, on the second thought, there is another model that my colleague has almost finalized, about mixed tx. Maybe I should focus on that one? But it is not my responsibility really. Ok, let us see. the buttom line is that he said I will be ok.

Why is it that of all projects I need to focus on this one. Then he said that my US project, I do not need to do too much for it now, as it will get delayed, by maybe 4 months or so, taking us to April. I am not sure about the timing but I am sure about him saying that this project will get delayed.

day 48

Abundance and prosperity is within me. Everything I see is a manifestation of that principle.

I am abundant with love. I am abundant with love and help people without any limitations. They come to me to get help and I help them. They leave happy and satisfied. They bring gifts to me in exchange for the love they get from me and they leave perfectly happy because they receive love and the most perfect help they need.
My psychic abilities are unlimited. I can see all and hear all and there are no limitations. I can see and hear all.

pregnant

My friend M whom I healed and whose husband I healed by reestablishing the connection between them, she is PREGNANT!!!

I want her to wait until week 12 and then ask for her recommendation when I start healing others.

more proof and .... more money

Ok, here is some more. A few days ago I saw an image of a woman angel with a tray and there was a pack of money on the tray. Then a few days later I received a notice about my vacation money. I have about 11-12,000 USD equivalent vacation money, that I can receive ANY time.

One more, I had a vision of a table filled with food and everything you can imagine. It was falling down under the weight of the food. So I took this image to mean that this is a symbol of abundance. Abundance is coming my way. I just know it.

Happy new year!!!

I spent my new year's at H's family's. It was nice, but things between the two of us are not so nice. He wants to move into a separate apartment from me. I feel I need to end the relationship but I am afraid. While visiting him in Germany, I had a feeling that I have to end the relationship, but I did not do it. Now while he was here, I got more signs that I have to do it.

I saw a vision of my son and when I asked him if H is the father, he shook his head "no". We should wait and see.

And... tomorrow I am starting my new job. Exciting!