d2

I lift up my mind and heart to be aware, to understand and to know that the Divine Presence I am is the source and substance of all my good.

I am the master manifester. I can create anything I possibly want for myself. sending lots of love to my potential employers. visualizing light going towards them. I love them so much! visualizing me starting my new fantastic project in april. and so mote it be!!!
Sending lots and lots of love to potential employers and recruiters. Visualizing them sending love back to me. coming to me w a variety of projects I can choose from. There is no lack. There are plenty of freelancing opportunities. 
Sending lots of love to my beloved D. Visualizing him sending love back to me. we are dancing together in  love w each other. A wonderful wonderful dance!!! w me feeling very loved. and so it is!

d.1

God is lavish, unfailing abundance, the rich omnipresent substance of the universe. this all providing source of infinite prosperity is individualized as me - the reality of me

sending love to projects and visualizing them sending love to me. Visualizing several companies interested in my skills and offering me the contract. And so mote it be!!!
Sending lots of love to D. lots of love. Visualizing him also sending lots of love to me and being in love with me. Enveloping him with my love from the heart. <3 strong="">

offering my gifts

1. What are you really good at? Or: What do other people say you do that is special or helpful?  Listening and giving advice. doing reading. Asking the right questions. Excellent intuition.
2. When do you feel the most alive? When do you feel the most at peace?  When I share important stuff from the heart. When i share my sadness and fears and not try to cover them up. When i allow sadness to come up.
3. What contributions do you believe you make to other people’s lives or to the environment? Advice 
4. What is something you are doing that you think your children or loved ones will be proud of after you’re gone?  How i loved and supported them. Comforted when A cried. Unlimited amounts of comfort.
5. What does living one’s “best life” mean to you? Following my heart. Living my passions.  need to find a joint passion w A and do it together.

Need to listen to what A wants to do. what gives her joy. Passion. and participate in it. Including volunteering at a variety of stuff.  Learning something from A. talk about things that bring tears to my eyes and things that open our hearts.

looking after myself

1. Fill in the blanks:
   “These are signs I am not looking after myself - I am overeating. I am stressed. I start yelling at A.  I start blaming. I feel pressure to do smt instead of slowing down.
   When I see one or more of these signs, I will take a deep breath and connect w myself. and ask what do I need right now at this very minute.__________________________________________.”
2. What are three things your body needs to feel healthy, strong, nourished, and at peace? How can you ensure one of these needs are met?     To drink to sleep and to exercise.  I need to serf internet less and whatsapp less. Go to bed at before 11 pm every day - set alarm. Exercise 3x -week. Doesnt matter if I make it to gym. I can do exercises at home or go jogging when A is asleep.  Also my bowels are clean. Eat little portions. No overeating. 
3. What responsibilities, unhealthy habits, and/or damaging thoughts do you need to relinquish so you can look after yourself better?  Internet whatsapp  overeating.   focus on me and not on my friends. 
4. Name something that brings you immediate comfort and helps you breathe.   Last time I was w David.   being hugged by A. 
5. If you made yourself a priority, what would a typical day look like?    Wake up and drink water. No coffee. No cereal I eat every day. Substitute for another food (TBD).  take A to preschool. Then get to work. Work until 13 or 14 and exercise a bit. lunch -fish. spinning twice a week at 18. going to bed before 11 pm.  Fun w A. Relaxed and stress free pick up.

reflection

1. If you were to honestly describe how you’ve been feeling lately, what would you say?  Very shitty and stressed. I alternate between wild excitement and feeling down d-t not feeling like a bad mom and overwhelm about my current situation. Also sad I can't change situation w preschool for A
2. On a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being often), how you often put other people’s needs before your own? How does this impact your wellbeing?                                                                                   Not so often. I feel it is about 4 or 3.  But for A I very often put my needs down. I feel she wants to take from me. Like we got a competition for resources. :( It makes me feel bad. I feel I am giving too much. 
3. Take a moment to listen to your body. What is it saying? What could it really use right now?  Body doesnt feel good. Feels worn out. It wants to say relax. Everything will resolve itself. It needs  a hug and water. and also feeling stuffed.
4. In what ways do you think your self-care practices (or lack of) impact the ones you love?  It impacts them negatively. I dont have excess. I have a lack. And then I cant give out of a lack. I only can give out access. I yell a lot and get to be impatient. And everything feels negative.
5. What do you think is your biggest obstacle for meeting your needs on a regular basis? What would it take to remove that obstacle?  Internet addiction. I spent too much time serfing the net. Also whatsapp addiction. OK I need to transfer whatsapp to my other telephone. Then I wont have whatsapp or messenger on my  current phone and it feels good not to have messenger.