I am grateful for many things today
Had a fantastic day working from home
The weather was great - sunshine and frost
Beautiful view from my window - love it
Love this apartment!!
Got paid today
Will get payment for 3 months and will not have to work
Feel that my friends love me and care about me
Got some advice what I should do to heal myself
my health is getting better
Enjoyed my trip to the spa today
Channelled that I am almost ready to be a mother. My child/children are coming a girl and a boy.
IT is slow at work today, so don't have to strain myself
The work is paying for my therapy
The insurance is paying for my acupuncure
I have an abundant frame of mind
Have been in a fantastic mood
Love the cards I got - soul destiny cards
Am very happy about my upcoming cooking class.
Life is good!!!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
amazing
I am quite amazed about the message that I am almost ready to be a mother. Amazed. I also know it. i know that it is coming. But who is the father? what should i do to manifest it fully? so many questions...
I need to go to the church and ask there. perhaps tomorrow...
I need to get guidance on the job - which I quit. what do I do now? Am I crazy for listening to my guidance??? What I am doing is so weird, and yet I trust my guidance.
I also felt that something is about to happen and I should not make any plans until something happens. And it will happen soon. I asked what will happen and saw a picture of death. I asked who is going to die, I saw a picture of H's granny. But what does it have to do with me?
I talked to him today, he confirmed that the granny is not doing well and his mother asked him to come spend some days with her.
Let's see.
By the way, what I predicted about him and the package, came into being. He got the package. I said he would get 7 months, he got 8.
I need to go to the church and ask there. perhaps tomorrow...
I need to get guidance on the job - which I quit. what do I do now? Am I crazy for listening to my guidance??? What I am doing is so weird, and yet I trust my guidance.
I also felt that something is about to happen and I should not make any plans until something happens. And it will happen soon. I asked what will happen and saw a picture of death. I asked who is going to die, I saw a picture of H's granny. But what does it have to do with me?
I talked to him today, he confirmed that the granny is not doing well and his mother asked him to come spend some days with her.
Let's see.
By the way, what I predicted about him and the package, came into being. He got the package. I said he would get 7 months, he got 8.
Got this message today
I got this message today from these wonderful cards I got. However before I write about that, I noticed that the better my mood is, the more things I get and the better my manifestation techniques get.
For example, in LA I was so miserable before new year's, so not so much happened, then went to tantra which made me feel so good, and just now found my gratitude post. After 3 January, things really started happening /manifesting with super cosmic speed. So the key is to keep myself in a good mood, keep my head above the depression/anxiety/bad mood mode.
Now to the message
The question was about the situation and next steps re H/possible relationship
1. The first card reflects the situation as it is now.
#34
You are angry my child. You are furious. Your fury consumes you: The heat has gone to your heart and your mind. All you can think about is your eggs, your baby, your unsuccessful pregnancy. What you think about is the good, what you forget about is the bad. You haven't seen eye to eye fora long time. Not connecting, yelling at each other, not hearing each other, closing to each other's dreams.
Your blood is boiling, your a full of steam, release it, release it!
2. About what I should do, next steps so to speak, #9.
Heal yourself, use reiki. Use green light. Use the cards. Visualize yourself as a mother. You are mother of 2 beautiful children. You love them, they love you. Visualize yourself as a mother of a little girl and a little boy. They love you so much. Deep within there is an eternal flame of love. The flame that never goes out. Nobody can extinguish it. Cherish this flame, protect it, shelter it for it is your heart that needs protection. Carry your heart, shield it, protect it from bad influences. What you need is to speak your truth. Always, in all circumstances. The children are coming. You are almost ready to be a mother.
3. The outcome #11
You will be happy my child. In the abyss of bliss. Smiles, happiness, love, fireworks in the bedroom - tantric sex. Tantra, out of body experience, connection of the souls, connection of the hearts and minds. Love, light surrounds you. You are in the flow.
For example, in LA I was so miserable before new year's, so not so much happened, then went to tantra which made me feel so good, and just now found my gratitude post. After 3 January, things really started happening /manifesting with super cosmic speed. So the key is to keep myself in a good mood, keep my head above the depression/anxiety/bad mood mode.
Now to the message
The question was about the situation and next steps re H/possible relationship
1. The first card reflects the situation as it is now.
#34
You are angry my child. You are furious. Your fury consumes you: The heat has gone to your heart and your mind. All you can think about is your eggs, your baby, your unsuccessful pregnancy. What you think about is the good, what you forget about is the bad. You haven't seen eye to eye fora long time. Not connecting, yelling at each other, not hearing each other, closing to each other's dreams.
Your blood is boiling, your a full of steam, release it, release it!
2. About what I should do, next steps so to speak, #9.
Heal yourself, use reiki. Use green light. Use the cards. Visualize yourself as a mother. You are mother of 2 beautiful children. You love them, they love you. Visualize yourself as a mother of a little girl and a little boy. They love you so much. Deep within there is an eternal flame of love. The flame that never goes out. Nobody can extinguish it. Cherish this flame, protect it, shelter it for it is your heart that needs protection. Carry your heart, shield it, protect it from bad influences. What you need is to speak your truth. Always, in all circumstances. The children are coming. You are almost ready to be a mother.
3. The outcome #11
You will be happy my child. In the abyss of bliss. Smiles, happiness, love, fireworks in the bedroom - tantric sex. Tantra, out of body experience, connection of the souls, connection of the hearts and minds. Love, light surrounds you. You are in the flow.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
gratitude journal
It is essential that I start the gratitude journal. What am I grateful for?
Being able to come to lala land on holidays for 5 weeks. It is amazing. Not paying anything for my accommodations, being taken care of and pampered here by my mother. Having my own bed to sleep in and my own room.
I am grateful for my health being better, for finding a healer who can help me. Grateful for friends who care about me and miss me back at home.
having the time to dance, rollerblade, read, discover myself and for trying tantra. That was amazing. Learning all of these things that will help me in my next relationship.
meeting J.N. here as he helped me to brainstorm things with myself about what i want to do.
Having fantastic partners at my tantra class.
Learning wisdom and insights from the books I a reading now. being inspired to quit my job. It is a good thing for me.
Grateful that i am being lead by God to my next step and to my perfect man and perfect health. Grateful that my faith has been strengthened. Grateful that there are plenty of things I can do here for free.
Grateful for eating delicious hot food every day. thank you.
Grateful for my clients contacting me so I can help this woman and her husband have a baby. I am so grateful!!!! I am sending them lots of love.
Being able to come to lala land on holidays for 5 weeks. It is amazing. Not paying anything for my accommodations, being taken care of and pampered here by my mother. Having my own bed to sleep in and my own room.
I am grateful for my health being better, for finding a healer who can help me. Grateful for friends who care about me and miss me back at home.
having the time to dance, rollerblade, read, discover myself and for trying tantra. That was amazing. Learning all of these things that will help me in my next relationship.
meeting J.N. here as he helped me to brainstorm things with myself about what i want to do.
Having fantastic partners at my tantra class.
Learning wisdom and insights from the books I a reading now. being inspired to quit my job. It is a good thing for me.
Grateful that i am being lead by God to my next step and to my perfect man and perfect health. Grateful that my faith has been strengthened. Grateful that there are plenty of things I can do here for free.
Grateful for eating delicious hot food every day. thank you.
Grateful for my clients contacting me so I can help this woman and her husband have a baby. I am so grateful!!!! I am sending them lots of love.
Friday, January 1, 2010
THe dance exc
Relax. Close your eyes.
Recall the first songs you heard as a child. Being to sing them in your thoughts. Little by little, let a certain part of your body - your feet, your stomach, your hands, your head and so on but only one part, begin to dance to the melody you are singing.
After 5 min, stop singing, and listen to the sounds all around you. Compose an internal melody based on them, and dance to it with your whole body. Don't think about anything in particular, but try to memorize the images that spontaneously appear.
The dance offers an almost perfect means of communication with the Infinite intelligence.
Do for 15 min.
Recall the first songs you heard as a child. Being to sing them in your thoughts. Little by little, let a certain part of your body - your feet, your stomach, your hands, your head and so on but only one part, begin to dance to the melody you are singing.
After 5 min, stop singing, and listen to the sounds all around you. Compose an internal melody based on them, and dance to it with your whole body. Don't think about anything in particular, but try to memorize the images that spontaneously appear.
The dance offers an almost perfect means of communication with the Infinite intelligence.
Do for 15 min.
The listening exc
Relax. Close your eyes.
Try for several min to concentrate on all of the sounds you hear in your surroundings, as if you were hearing an orchestra playing its instruments.
Little by little, try to separate each sound from the other others. Concentrate on each one, as if it were the only instrument playing. Try to eliminate the other sounds from your awareness.
When you do this exc every day, you will begin to hear voices. First, you will think that they are imaginary. Later, you will discover that they are voices of people from your past, present and future, all of them participating with you in the remembrance of time.
This exc should be performed only when you already know the voice of your messenger.
Do this exc for 10 min at a time.
Try for several min to concentrate on all of the sounds you hear in your surroundings, as if you were hearing an orchestra playing its instruments.
Little by little, try to separate each sound from the other others. Concentrate on each one, as if it were the only instrument playing. Try to eliminate the other sounds from your awareness.
When you do this exc every day, you will begin to hear voices. First, you will think that they are imaginary. Later, you will discover that they are voices of people from your past, present and future, all of them participating with you in the remembrance of time.
This exc should be performed only when you already know the voice of your messenger.
Do this exc for 10 min at a time.
The shadows exc
relax completely
For five min, study the shadows of all of the objects and people around you. Try to identify exactly which part of the object or person is casting a shadow.
For the next 5 min, continue to do this, but a the same time, focus on the problem you are trying to solve. Look for all of the possible wrong solution to the problem.
Finally, spend 5 more minutes studying the shadows and thinking about what correct solutions remain. Eliminate them, one by one, until only single correct solution is left.
For five min, study the shadows of all of the objects and people around you. Try to identify exactly which part of the object or person is casting a shadow.
For the next 5 min, continue to do this, but a the same time, focus on the problem you are trying to solve. Look for all of the possible wrong solution to the problem.
Finally, spend 5 more minutes studying the shadows and thinking about what correct solutions remain. Eliminate them, one by one, until only single correct solution is left.
the Ram breathing exc
Expel all of the air from your lungs, emptying them as much as you can. Then inhale slowly as you raise your arms as high as possible. As you in hale, concentrate on allowing Love, peace and harmony with the universe to enter into your body.
Hold the air you have taken in and keep your arms raised for as long as you can enjoying the harmony between your inner sensations and the outer world. When you reach your limit, exhale all of the air rapidly as you say the word RAM.
Repeat for 5 min each time you do the exc.
Hold the air you have taken in and keep your arms raised for as long as you can enjoying the harmony between your inner sensations and the outer world. When you reach your limit, exhale all of the air rapidly as you say the word RAM.
Repeat for 5 min each time you do the exc.
The blue sphere exc
Seat yourself comfortably and relax. Try not to think about anything.
1. feel how good it is to be alive. Let your heart feel free and affectionate, let it rise and above and beyond the details of the problems that may be bothering you. Begin to sing softly a song from your childhood. Imagine that your heart is growing , filling the room and later your home with an intense, shining blue light.
2. When you reach this point, begin to sense the presence of the saints (or other beings) in which you placed your faith when you were a child. Notice that they are present, arriving from everywhere, smiling and giving you faith and confidence.
3. Picture the saints approaching you, placing their hands on your head and wishing you love, peace and communion with the world - the communion of the saints.
4. When the sensation becomes strong, feel that the blue light is a current that enters you and leaves you like a shining, flowing river. This blue light begins to spread thru your house, then thru your neighborhood, your city, and your country; it eventually envelops the world in an immense blue sphere. This is the manifestation of the great love that goes beyond the day to day struggle, it reinforces and invigorates, as it provides energy and peace.
5. Keep the light spread around the world for as long as possible. Your heart is open, spreading love. This phase of the exc should last for a minimum of 5 min.
6. Come out of your trance, bit by bit, and return to reality. The saints will remain near. The blue light will continue to spread around the world.
If doing this with more than 1 person, need to hold hands.
1. feel how good it is to be alive. Let your heart feel free and affectionate, let it rise and above and beyond the details of the problems that may be bothering you. Begin to sing softly a song from your childhood. Imagine that your heart is growing , filling the room and later your home with an intense, shining blue light.
2. When you reach this point, begin to sense the presence of the saints (or other beings) in which you placed your faith when you were a child. Notice that they are present, arriving from everywhere, smiling and giving you faith and confidence.
3. Picture the saints approaching you, placing their hands on your head and wishing you love, peace and communion with the world - the communion of the saints.
4. When the sensation becomes strong, feel that the blue light is a current that enters you and leaves you like a shining, flowing river. This blue light begins to spread thru your house, then thru your neighborhood, your city, and your country; it eventually envelops the world in an immense blue sphere. This is the manifestation of the great love that goes beyond the day to day struggle, it reinforces and invigorates, as it provides energy and peace.
5. Keep the light spread around the world for as long as possible. Your heart is open, spreading love. This phase of the exc should last for a minimum of 5 min.
6. Come out of your trance, bit by bit, and return to reality. The saints will remain near. The blue light will continue to spread around the world.
If doing this with more than 1 person, need to hold hands.
The arousal of intuitiion
make a puddle of water on a smooth, nonabsorbent surface. Look into the puddle for a while. Then, begin to play with it, without any particular commitment or objective. Make designs that mean absolutely nothing. Do this exc for a week, allowing at least 10 min each time
THe Seed Exc -repeat 7 consecutive days
Kneel on the ground. Then seat yourself on your heels and bend forward so that your head touches your knees. Stretch your arms behind you. You are now in a fetal position. Relax, releasing all of your tensions. Breathe calmly and deeply. Little by little you will perceive that you are a tiny seed, cradled in the comfort of the earth. Everything around you in warm and delicious. You are in a deep, restful sleep. Suddenly, a finger moves. The shoot no longer wants to be a seed; it wants to grow. Slowly you begin to move your arms, and then your body will begin to rise, straightening up until you are seated on your hells. NOW you begin to lift your body up, and slowly, slowly you become erect, still kneeling on the ground.
The moment has come to break completely thru the earth. You begin to rise slowly, placing one foot on the ground then the other, fighting against the disequilibrium just as a shoot battles to make its own space, until finally you are standing. Imagine the area about you, the sun, the water, the wind, and the birds. Now you are shoot that is beginning to grow. Slowly raise your arms toward the sky. Then stretch yourself more and more, more and more, as if you want to grasp the enormous sun that shines above you, giving you strength and attracting you. Your body beings to become more and more rigid, all of your muscles strain, and you feel yourself to be growing growing, growing - you become huge. The tension increases more and more until it becomes painful, unbearable. When you ca no longer stand it, scream and open your eyes.
The moment has come to break completely thru the earth. You begin to rise slowly, placing one foot on the ground then the other, fighting against the disequilibrium just as a shoot battles to make its own space, until finally you are standing. Imagine the area about you, the sun, the water, the wind, and the birds. Now you are shoot that is beginning to grow. Slowly raise your arms toward the sky. Then stretch yourself more and more, more and more, as if you want to grasp the enormous sun that shines above you, giving you strength and attracting you. Your body beings to become more and more rigid, all of your muscles strain, and you feel yourself to be growing growing, growing - you become huge. The tension increases more and more until it becomes painful, unbearable. When you ca no longer stand it, scream and open your eyes.
rituals - the messenger ritual
1. Sit down and relax completely. Let your mind wander and your thinking flow without restraint. after a while, begin to repeat to yourself "now I am relaxed and I am in the deepest kind of sleep".
2. When you feel that your mind is no longer concerned with anyting, imagine a billow of fire to your right. Make the flames lively and brilliant Then quietly say "I order my syubconscious to show itself. I order it to open and reveal its magic secrets". Wait a bit and concentrate only on the fire. If an image appears, it will be a manifestation of your subconscious. Try to keep it alive.
3. Keeping the fire aways to your right, now begin to imagine another billow of fire to your left. When the flames are lively, say the following words quietly: "may the power of the Lamb, which manifests itself in everything and everyone, manifest itself also in me when I invoke my messenger. Name of the messenger will appear before me now2
4. Talk with your messenger who should appear between the two fires Discuss your specific problems, ask for advice and give him the necessary orders.
5. When your conversation has ended, dismiss the messenger with the following words: "I thank the Lamb for the miracle I have performed. May (name of msgr) return whenever he is invoked, and when he is far away, may he help me to carry on my work.
2. When you feel that your mind is no longer concerned with anyting, imagine a billow of fire to your right. Make the flames lively and brilliant Then quietly say "I order my syubconscious to show itself. I order it to open and reveal its magic secrets". Wait a bit and concentrate only on the fire. If an image appears, it will be a manifestation of your subconscious. Try to keep it alive.
3. Keeping the fire aways to your right, now begin to imagine another billow of fire to your left. When the flames are lively, say the following words quietly: "may the power of the Lamb, which manifests itself in everything and everyone, manifest itself also in me when I invoke my messenger. Name of the messenger will appear before me now2
4. Talk with your messenger who should appear between the two fires Discuss your specific problems, ask for advice and give him the necessary orders.
5. When your conversation has ended, dismiss the messenger with the following words: "I thank the Lamb for the miracle I have performed. May (name of msgr) return whenever he is invoked, and when he is far away, may he help me to carry on my work.
realization after reading the Pilgrimage
What I have realized today after reading the PIlgrimage was that H was my guide, just like Petrus was in the book. He was guiding me and he gave me all he could as a guide/teacher. We separated because I could move on and proceed and function without him. So his role in my life disappeared.
This realization really hit me today.
Just like the main character proceeded without the guide and found his sword/completed his journey, in the same way I will proceed with mine and will find what I am looking for, whatever it was meant to be.
This realization really hit me today.
Just like the main character proceeded without the guide and found his sword/completed his journey, in the same way I will proceed with mine and will find what I am looking for, whatever it was meant to be.
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