day 7 of AP

The Divine Conc that I am is forever expressing its true nature of abundance. This is its responsibility, not mine. My only responsibility is to be aware of this Truth. Therefore, I am totally confident in letting go and letting God appear as the abundant all-sufficiency in my life and affairs. All I need to do is listen to my heart and let my intuition guide me once I set a course to my life. Isn't it simple? Isn't it amazing? I am very grateful that the truth is so simple and life should be without any struggle. All I need to do is be grateful, be happy and enjoy life. Living with an open heart, sending love to my baby and myself, sending love to DB, sending love to H's mom, A's dad, my mom. And sending love t myself, first and foremost. Sending love to the companies who are standing in line to hire me. Sending them lots of love and sending love to my bank account and to all my bills that need to be paid.

Day 6 AP

My inner supply instantly and constantly takes on form and experience according to my needs and desires,and as the principle of Supply in action, it is impossible for me to have any needs or unfulfilled desires. I manifest all that I need. Once I need it and focus on it with my heart, and then let go, it is given to me. Therefore my life is in my own hands. I focus on wealth, on abundance and it will be given to me. I am filled with love and filled with gratitude for my life today. I get to spend as much time with my daughter as I want to, it is such a fantastic experience! I am eternally grateful for it. Also I am eternally grateful that she spends a lot of time with people who love her, myself, her dad and has a good time in her daycare. I am eternally grateful that she exists. I am so grateful that she opened my heart with a magic wand, that because of her I know the intense feeling of love like I have not known it before. My heart is open, love and light streams out of it, and surrounds everything in its light. It surrounds the companies that all want to hire me with love, I am sending them so much love that they feel it and respond to it and are standing in line to hire me. Sending love in particular to UCBP, to ES whom I will speak with next week, and to PS and TK at L with whom I am meeting the week after. Sending them so much love. Sending love to OS at D too. I am sending love to my bank account, sending love to money that is about to come to me, sending love to A's dad, sending love to all my creditors, like PE and to the tax office who miscalculated the area of my apartment. It is incredible how much love I have in my heart. And amazing. I am love!!! I am love in its purest form.

Day 5 of AP

Itt is only me who is my own supply. My supply does not come from any other person or condition. I am the creator of my reality, the creator of my supply. All I need to do is focus on love

day 4 of abundance plan

thru my conc of my God self, the Christ within as my source, I draw into my mind and feeling nature the very substance of spirit. This substance is my supply, thus my conc of the God within me is my supply. I am my own supply as I am God and God´-like. I create all the situations in my life, I create all the problems i have and therefore I can create the solutions. Yes my perception of the day was not good, but in reality the day was neutral and i learned great lessons today. I learned that i take criticismm very well and i acknowledge what i do wrong without any drama attached to it. if I do not know something, I no longer try to cover it up. I have done a magnicicent work in self-improvement and I am a fantastic mother, I am doing my best, under all circumstances. The rest can go fuck themselves if they do not think so. Sending love to myself today and to my little angel. we both need it. sending lots of love to us both. These are the only two people I can send love to today. And sending love to the situation I am in. And a success was great conversation with LG, my bankman. That was SUPER! I can see this thing definitely works.

Day 3 of Abundance Plan

I am conscious of the Inner Presence as my lavish Abundance. I am conscious of the constant activity of this mind of infinite Prosperity. Therefore my consciousness is filled with the light of truth. I am very much aware of the fact that I am a master Manifestor and creator in my own right as I create my own reality. Therefore it is very clear to me that what happens to me is up to me. All i need to do is to keep my heart open, send love, and then things will be as they should, all the issues and challenges will be solved in the best possible way, for my best possible good. All my bills will be paid with love and all the creditors that i need to speak with, i will speak with them with love. Love, love, love. Love is all I need for my issues to be solved. Sending love to LG with whom I will speak in a few minutes. Sending him a lot of love. Sending lots of love to OS for our talk tomorrow. Sending love to Belgium, Brussels because it is there I would like to move next. Sending light and love to my conversation tomorrow. I am the beacon of light and love. Everything else is just an illusion.

picture of my angel

Was asked to post a picture of my angel, but since this blog is completely anonymous, at least for now, I am not quite ready to do that. I will think about it. But thank you so much for your interest.

day 2 of abundance plan

I lift up my mind and heart to be aware, to understand and to know that the divine presence I AM is the source and substance of all my good. I am constanly focused on me being the cause and the reason for abundance. the money flows to me like a river of bliss not because I focus on the money but because I constantly am aware that i am the source or rather God within me is the source. I focus upon it daily. I focus on it daily to create the flow in my life. I send love to everything including money. Money feels it and comes to me all the time, constantly, from unexpected sources. It comes to me all the time to allow me to pay all my bills with a lot of love. I send love to all my creditors daily and the money keeps appearing to pay for everything I have to pay. my heart is overfilled with love and gratitude for money, love and gratitude for every single gift I have in my life.It is overfilled with gratitude that the companies are standing in line to talk to me and to hire me. I am eternally grateful that the job offers keep pouring in and the contracts are currently being written and are on their way to me. Thank you Lord for giving me these gifts. Thank you for creating my fantastic life. I am eternally grateful! I am the source of all, all that is good in my life. My heart is open and radiating so much love towards every living creature on this planet. I send love especially to my creditors, to BU from XX Bank, send him so much love that I cannot wait to talk to him tomorrow on the phone about my situation. I keep sending love to PE, the lawyer, about my parking ticket and cannot wait to contact him to talk to him. I keep sending love to the tax office who miscalcualted the area of my apartment so that now I am taxed higher than I am supposed to. I cannot wait to write to them tomorrow! Really look forward to that. Also keep sending love to TK and PS from L., keep sending love to all the recruiters who did not get back to me yet, but who will of course. Keep sending love to ES from UBCP, lots of love, sending love to OS from D. Sending him lots of love before my talk to him on Friday. Sending lots of love to Brussels, the heart of Europe, where i would like to move next. Sending love to the location where I am now. Love, love love, nothing else is coming from my heart. I am sending love to my hair, and to every single particle in my body. Sending love to my ex and sending love to J. Him I am sending lots of love to. Sending love to money, straight from my heart. Sending love to all these companies that are standing in line to talk to me and to hire me. Sending love to my Divine partner who is waiting for me and who is aware of my presence and who is moving towards me. Sending him love from my heart. I know he can feel me. I can feel him surrounded by love and send him even more love.

Prosperity Plan day 1

God is la vish, unfailing abundance, the rich omnipresent substance of the universe. the all providing source of infinite posperity isindividualized as me - the reality of me. I am God. I create my reality. God is within me. As long as I focus on love and abundance and infinite gratitude, I can manifest anything i desire. I see all of my bills being paid with love and joy. My heart is so open. it is full of love. I spread my love out to the universe, to every living being on the planet. I can see pink light from my heart enveloping anything and everything in so much love. I am LOVE. I am sending love to all of my potential employers. Surrounding them with LOVE. they can feel my love and coming back to me with interview requests and job offers and contracts in the mail with very high compensation becasue they value me so highly. They all want to hire me. They are so interested. They feel that i have so many things of value. they are fighting over me. And I am sending love to all of them. Sending love to D, L, UCBP, R, A, F and all the the people that arein touch with me. The contracts are being written already, they can't wait to get me on board. most of all sending lots of love to my beautiful little daughter, the light in my life - I love her so much it touches me to tears.

not a good day

oy, not a good day today! feeling sad today, only feel blessed when i look at the face of my little angel. she is such a blessing. but my social life is zero. and how the hell am i going to start dating someone? what about my professional life?so many unanswered questions at the moment.

felt sad today. realized that being a single mother and being on my own makes me sad.

got these 3 cards today

asked about waht i need to know at the moment.
1 mystique keep charging ahead and dont take no for an answer. Expect miraculous solutions to appear
2. vanessa to make your decision, ask yourself which way brings me closer to my divine purpose? which way takes me away from it?
3, chantall - new romance is imminent - either with a newcomer, or thru reignited passion in your existing relationship. be open to giving and receiving love.

more channeling from T

Got more channeling from T - lost the piece of paper but the point was once my daughter is born, everything else will come at the same time - a man, my husband, and the job,all together. She said i will be surprized how easy and effortlessly it will fall into my lap.

explorations about becoming a mother

1. what really scares me about becoming a mother?
Losing my sexuality, not being/feeling attractive
Losing my body
not being affectionate enough, holding back affection
¨
2. what could be my biggest strength as a mother?
being intuitive to know what she wants
strict
disciplined

what could be my biggest challenge?
being messy
being too strict with her
forgetting that she needs to have fun and not spend all her time studying.

what do i love about my life now that i dont want to give up after she is born?
being myself, following my passions and interests - ie tango
being able to date men, having sex, having fun

what in my life could i giveup? what do I want to change?
Spend less time on internet, facebook, emails, etc.
spend less time being involved in other ppl's lives
want to be more organized

what ppl do i want to include during the first year?
H's mom, my mom, my divine partner, his family
Do? H? Maria.

what parts of my parents¨ parenting style i d like to keep
Instill ambitions, discipline, having meaningful conversations

what am i afraid to pass upon the child from my own childhood?
Negativity, being limited, feeling unloved, notvalued, not important, feeling alone, isolated, being discriminated against, losing my temper

how do i expect my relationships to change after she is born?
With mom- better undestanding of her point of view, more appreciation of her
with friends - losing some of them as i simply wont have the time nor do i do want to solve other ppl's problems anymore. so i need to find a new way to relate to ppl
i expect that i will have stronger boundaries

what has changed just by being pregnant?
more emotional, do not hold on to my anger, i express it more freely.
already let go or letting go of some ppl.
became more intuitive
have connected to a very strong feeling of love, like nothing i experienced before.

manifesting divine partner

Post has been removed. Am adding more details, do not want to have different lists.

chanelling I got - around feb or march 2011

Got this channelling from T. You did big work with yourself. Came a long way. Look at yourself now vs. 2 yrs ago. A lot of development happened on the very deep level. I was thru difficult times - it gave me strength and inner peace.

You can get worried but come much faster to your core. We are very satisfied with this. Be proud of yourself.

There are angels around you that help you and spread love. Expect the best for yourself and your little baby.Let yourself feel the happiness due to the child you have wainted for a long time. Now you are ready. ready on all fronts. You will develop yourself even more with the child - you will get so much joy.

The most important thing is inner peace. Peace in your mind. Feel enjoyment. Take in life. Surrender to the situation.
Try to be in joy. the practical things will resolve themselves. Ordner til dit barns bedste. THings will resolve themselves in the besst way. Your energy should be joy, abundance and warm feelings. In in the joy you are in right now.

asked about my personal life and got these 3 cards

1. AA michael - i am with you giving you the courage to make life changes that will help you work on your divine life purpose. I take it that it happened in the past
2. Raye - yoga and exercise are essential to your well being, peace of mind and spiritual growth right now. This is about the present. I totally buy it. this is the answer to the question whether i should exercise or not, feeling very tired
3. Celeste - A happy move to a new home or place of employment is in the works. This movement will usher in positive new energy. Let's see. Fingers crossed.

A few days ago asked about my employment situation and got the answer The angel of marriage is helping you right now

meeting with Lou today

a few things - he is not a bad person, just making mistakes. about how the relationshp prepared her for her hubby. how and why she tolerated being treated less than what she deserved.
babies
her labor experience
Will update later, just do not want to forget what we have discussed

more tango

someone up there really wants me to dance tango. Found a partner for another tango class offered by teachers from buenos aires. So cool!

feeling sad today

feel sad today. will drop any hopes for a meeting with V. hoping to meet him and talk about the situation is making me upset and i dont feel much is going to resolve after we talk. so feel i need to mail his book to him and that will be it. Not even friends. that is a shame. I liked him so much! but he dropped me as a person and as a friend and that is what hurts me now. Somehow i need to get closure myself and move on.

I know that this is what God wanted and some time from now I will be grateful for this experience but now i am struggling to find the meaning of it. When I asked what his purpose was in my life, I get an answer that he opened my heart (which is true, I really opened up my heart to him) and that allowed me to get pregnant. So something to be grateful for.

when it rains, it pours

OK, had a good meeting with the ppl from NY. Let's see if they are interested in me, then i should hear from them next week. I am interested in the position, assuming it will hold true, but do not want to move to the states (NY). Not even temporarily. Do not feel like doing it with a tiny baby.

At the same time i am flying to CH next week for an interview and have another interview on the phone this week. Let's see what happens.
had an interview monday for a job in Lndn, but it wont go further.
No word re the project though, so maybe i was not meant to do it after all.

Oh la la part 2

Had another job interview for a job in CH. Went well. Next step is to go there to meet ppl which will happen in the next 2 weeks. Let's see. Now need to pray that i get my permit to reenter in time for this visit; otherwise am not allowed to return to the country where I am currently living.

oh la la

Ok had an interview today. The company is in NYC but there is an opportunity to stay in Europe. The main guy will be visiting here next week, so we will meet and talk. I am interested in salaries, etc. Let's see.

What I want to manifest in 2012

• Meeting my divine partner who is also my husband
• Harmonious relationships at home with A and my husband
• Total harmony, things flowing
• My home being a paradise, a fantastic place where my heart and soul relax
• Having a great view from my window – view of water
• Feeling love in my heart
• Living from my heart all the time
• Being completely happy
• Loving and receiving love
• Being able to share my affections with my daughter and my mother
• Having a job that allows me to have good balance in my life
• Having a job that brings me closer to my mission
• Being able to support myself to bring enough money to enjoy my lifestyle
• Going to Argentina to learn to dance tango and having my partner’s full support
• Losing the fears I have
• Being /feeling confident
• Having a dog
• Feeling beautiful and enjoying my beautiful face and my beautiful body
• Being surrounded by lots of good friends and support system
• Having great relationship with my future in-laws
• Apartment situation with H being resolved in a mutually satisfactory way
• Having also a deep tantric relationship with my partner/husband
• Being able to spend quality time together and enjoying each other emotionally, physically, sexually despite having a little baby
Opening my heart to him completely and him opening his heart to me completely
• Having good relationship with H and his family
• Exciting vacations together, with and without A.
• Having good, cordial and friendly relationship with A’s father.
• Perfect health for me, my mom, my baby and everyone close to me.

What I want to manifest for remainder of 2011

• Easy remainder of my pregnancy
• The rest of my pregnancy being enjoyable
• Easy ecstatic birth
• Easy delivery
• Healthy baby girl
• The project for my consultancy going well and bringing lots of money in
• Satisfied clients and me being happy working with them
• Enjoying my work
• Manifesting the right kind of help for me after A. arrives into my life
• So that I felt I still have the freedom I want to have
• Easy access to human breast milk and ability to buy it inexpensively
• Being a good mother
• Spending quality time with my child
• Have a very strong intuition and listening to it in every aspect of my life
• Having a lover with whom I can have a meaningful relationship and have fantastic sex who would take me out and take care of me, whom I really like and care about
• Having lots of supportive friends in my life
• Finding a job that brings meaning to my life
• Moving to a new country that is right for me where I feel it is our home
• Moving to a new country where people speak foreign languages so that my baby could learn to speak foreign languages
• Learning to dance tango well
• Keep enjoying dancing tango and progressing fast
• Having a reliable tango partner
• I want a lot of money coming in to support the life style I want to have
• A’s dad being involved in her life
• Having a good and adult and respectful relationship with my mother
• Becoming more organized
• Having order in my living space
• Feeling very beautiful and glowing
• Feeling that I have a perfect body
• Having perfect health and my dense hair growing back and staying there
• Having lots of help when A arrives
• My baby being perfectly healthy and happy and quiet
• Being able to get enough sleep after she arrives
• Feeling that my life is now starting (no longer in a holding pattern)
• Keeping my excitement up about tango
• Being able to dancing tango until my delivery
- Feeling hot and sexy despite having a stomach
- Losing baby fat SUPER fast in a healthy way
- Getting rock hard abs after she is born

letter to my ex-lover/ex-friend

Dear V

I wanted to write you this letter, but will not send it to you. It is too private and I do not feel I should open up to you any more. Instead, I need to close down my heart to you which I am in the process of.

I felt and feel very hurt by what happened. I felt that you made this decision not to be lovers with me, but you kept it from me for a month. This misled me. I also asked you a couple of times about that, but you denied it. Why did you deny it? You kept me hanging for an extra month.
Then you completely disappeared from my life, even as a friend. You dumped me as a person which I find so hurtful. I am completely fine with not being lovers, but being dumped as a person or as a friend is something that is difficult for me to take. I need healing from it. It highlighted the issue I have with this which I want to look into closer.

I also am very upset that you were avoiding me without telling me that you do not want to see me. That really really upset me. I do not want to be with people who want to avoid me. I do not even want to contact such people. I only want to be with people who want to spend time with me. You should have told me. I kept contacting you because I missed you and wanted to see you.

I feel sad, I miss you. I missed you this morning, I cried. I miss your presence in my life. But I need to let you go as a lover for sure and as a friend and even possibly as an acquaintance because of the way you ended this, without any closure, without an explanation. As if all we had was a one night stand and not a close relationship we did have. I need to let you go and I will.

Thank you for all the lessons you have taught me – if a man lies to a very important person in his life, what makes me feel that I am any different? Trust in a person is essential. I can see that now even more than before. I also learned to trust my intuition because it is always right even when I do not really want to listen to it. My intuition was telling me to leave you alone and stop contacting you and actually start seeing other guys, but I did not listen.

I also learned that I am a very good person, very affectionate, very open minded and will make a very good supportive partner or a wife. All I need to do is stand my ground a bit more and express what I want more.

And now, thank you and good-bye.

what i am feeling grateful for regarding my V, my ex-lover

Grateful that i felt i opened my heart to him, that i felt i could get involved with someone again, that I am ready
grateful for the good times we shared
grateful for amazing sex we had
grateful for the closeness and intimacy we had at some point
grateful that he listened to my advice, it made me feel valued
grateful for the fucking hot experience we had at a swinger's club
grateful for his support and help when i had problems with visa and when my mother disappeared
grateful for his advice and involvement in my life
grateful for his friendship while it lasted
Grateful for the experience teaching me AGAIN to fully trust my intuition
grateful for the experience teaching me that i should only get involved with single men who are emotionally available to me
Important learnings are that i really need to trust my intuition - very happy about that and grateful that my intuition is so strong and that I could clearly feel I am ready to get involved with someone seriously, so when I am really ready, the person will appear.