emotional healing today

Today I had an emotional healing with T., who is a student healer. He is very very good. I thought it was very interesting what happened today in light of recent events and me feeling unhappy.

We did healing of the inner child exercise. It started off with a meditation where I was laying under the tree, and then I was guided that there was a child that appeared from somewhere. I was asked to describe that child. The child was a boy, very concentrated, very serious, he kept walking in a certain way. I was asked to get his attention but I could not, no matter what I tried. He ignored me or did not see me. I felt he did not like me.Then when I tried sitting next to him and blocking his way, I saw myself sitting but now I was wearing a thick mask. The mask look like it was smiling but it was a smile of pain. These would be questions between T (T) and me(M)
T Why are you wearing a mask?
M for protection
T Why do you need protection?
M i am afraid they will hurt me.
T How will they hurt you?
M They will take things from me and not give me anything back
T What would you need for them to give back to you
M To give me love and care
T what if they give you love and care and tell you that they would do anything for you
M I would not believe them
T what do they need to do for you to believe them
M I need to see that in action to be convinced
T What if you see it over and over again
M then I will believe it
T How do you feel when you feel that you get love and care?
M I saw that the mask has disappeared but it got replaced by another mask - a thinner one. I am wearing a strange feather like suit like for a masquerade and wear a thick layer of make up (like a mask covering my face)
T Why do you need this mask
M to cover who I really am
T Why do you need to cover who you really are
M Because they would not like me
T What makes you think they would not like you, did you do something to them that would make them not like them
M No /because I do not like myself
T why do you not like yourself?
M No answer
T imagine that they do like you
M my mask disappeared but I was wearing a chicken suit. My head was sticking out of a chicken suit but no mask.

Then I was asked to focus on a child again. This time it was another child, it was me, at about 4 y.o. I was looking sad and serious. I was not a happy baby. I (the child) was told to take me (the adult) to a special place. I ended up in my kindergarten, in one of the rooms where we had a zoo club where I stole a white mouse as a child. Then we were playing, and I sensed that I had this block in my chest around my heart. I was asked to hold me the child and to tell the child I really love it and will always love it but it needs to let me remove the block. I hugged the child, removed the block, said I love it and the child disappeared. I think she got all the love she needed and did not need to be there anymore. I felt like I could sense the area between my chest and my stomach.

Amazingly, my throat, as soon as I get emotional, my voice gets harsh. So this was that.

I am amazed that all these things came out. I was completely unaware of such important stuff. Wow. Now I will need to watch out how I feel in the next week. What is the significance of a chicken suit, of feathers?