A big update is coming

A big update is coming (but this post is not it!). I had a guest this weekend, my butterfly friend, and while I was so busy and barely had time for her, it was such a nice visit! I felt like I have known her for ages - I am sure we knew each other in our past lives. We did so much work - she on her business and I got some direction on mine.

So it was great.

However, the update about H is not so great. I feel that he doesn't love me anymore and does not accept me the way I am right now. I am very different from 7 years ago when we met. He told me that he doesn't like my decorations at home - my pink butterflies and if we move in back together, he wants them removed. But it is not happening! My butterflies make me so happy!! And being with him does not. He has this harshness about him and a lot of anger, which combined, hurt me - the new me is so very open as a person and so sensitive. Unless I see that he is taking steps to improve, there could be no future for us. I cannot live with his harshness as I only want to be surrounded by love in my life.

Another news was that I did channeling this weekend chanelling Virgin Mary's energy. I chanelled her and had a message for a classmate. It was a very powerful message but channelling is so hard on my body. During/after the channelling I felt that my heart opened so wide! The message I had for my classmate was so loving, about the little children she is helping and that she needs to hurry because they are really waiting for her. When she asked what is it that they want her to do, I said that they need her because her love will help them grow big and strong and give this love to others. Well, I do not speak like this in normal life. My voice has changed. I could not control my face, my voice sounded much much lower and at some time I was whispering. I had difficulties breathing, and you could hear that I was struggling to breath. My friend told me that I looked like I was possessed.

It was difficult to answer questions rather than to just speak. When I heard questions being asked, the connection with the energy was interrupted and I had to reconnect with her. It is so interesting that I "heard" the words and was just repeating it to my classmate. I would not dare to do this by myself without someone to get me out of this state.

A few other things happened this weekend. Having this friend here, with all our talks about spiritual stuff, really propelled my self-esteem and belief in myself forward. So it was fantastic. It is so hard to find someone with whom I could discuss these matters, but she is the perfect person. I felt very safe and comfortable sharing my "spiritual experiences".