letter to my ex-lover/ex-friend

Dear V

I wanted to write you this letter, but will not send it to you. It is too private and I do not feel I should open up to you any more. Instead, I need to close down my heart to you which I am in the process of.

I felt and feel very hurt by what happened. I felt that you made this decision not to be lovers with me, but you kept it from me for a month. This misled me. I also asked you a couple of times about that, but you denied it. Why did you deny it? You kept me hanging for an extra month.
Then you completely disappeared from my life, even as a friend. You dumped me as a person which I find so hurtful. I am completely fine with not being lovers, but being dumped as a person or as a friend is something that is difficult for me to take. I need healing from it. It highlighted the issue I have with this which I want to look into closer.

I also am very upset that you were avoiding me without telling me that you do not want to see me. That really really upset me. I do not want to be with people who want to avoid me. I do not even want to contact such people. I only want to be with people who want to spend time with me. You should have told me. I kept contacting you because I missed you and wanted to see you.

I feel sad, I miss you. I missed you this morning, I cried. I miss your presence in my life. But I need to let you go as a lover for sure and as a friend and even possibly as an acquaintance because of the way you ended this, without any closure, without an explanation. As if all we had was a one night stand and not a close relationship we did have. I need to let you go and I will.

Thank you for all the lessons you have taught me – if a man lies to a very important person in his life, what makes me feel that I am any different? Trust in a person is essential. I can see that now even more than before. I also learned to trust my intuition because it is always right even when I do not really want to listen to it. My intuition was telling me to leave you alone and stop contacting you and actually start seeing other guys, but I did not listen.

I also learned that I am a very good person, very affectionate, very open minded and will make a very good supportive partner or a wife. All I need to do is stand my ground a bit more and express what I want more.

And now, thank you and good-bye.