post # 200

This is my post #200.
I am so sick and tired of being sick. It started a little on Monday, then turned into a very nasty cold. My throat hurts so badly. I need to cough to cough the stuff out. I also tried to do my psychic CD, but had a feeling that i shouldn't. I tried to do clairvoyance, but had a strong feeling that I shouldn't, I still tried to force myself and already put the CD into the computer but then I was like, why am I forcing myself? So I stopped. I tried to put on my anti-anger CD, but feel that I shouldn't. I miss the gym, but all I can do is stay home in bed and just read my NLP book. Also very interesting. I learned from there that I am mainly visual with secondary function sensory - haha -it is no news to me. As a psychic I am also primary visual.

However, I do feel that I am getting better. Tomorrow perhaps I could visit H's mom and paint there. Let me see what happens.

However, this post is not about this. It is about me trying to zoom into two names. These are the guys I am supposed to work with. Strangely, one of them, J, is from the country N but moving to Boston for his job. I have been having thoughts about someone who also from N but moved to Boston, someone I had a crash on. However, Ea predicted that I will meet a man who will have something to do with the region where I live now, who is a business man, very smart, very good with numbers and who will be accustomed to the US culture. My impression when Ea said this was that the guy was living in the US. Incidentally, my partner, M told me about J last thursday that he is very good with numbers. When I heard this, I jumped in my chair once again. So I did not know which one of these guys, W or J is the possible guy. So I zoomed into their names. For W who is very nerdy, I zoomed into his name but did not see us doing anything romantic. I could see him touching me, but my heart did not respond to him. My heart was cold like ice.

For J when I zoomed into his name, there I saw all sorts of things. There was a very powerful erotic sexual energy. I sense him as a very short guy, maybe 168 cm -shit I hope I am wrong about this, I just saw the two of us sitting in a restaurant, engaged in a very intense conversation. It also appears that I may not work with him directly, but will work only with W. However, I will meet J in April for the meeting that my colleague is organizing. I just placed both of our names in separate bubbles and could see how the two bubbles were holding hands and dancing together. But that could also mean that we are working well on a project. ON the other hand, I can see the two bubbles, circling together holding hands, with little hearts above them. So there is potential. I could also have a feeling of intense love -when you really care and love someone very deeply, from the bottom of someone's heart - like a wife kind of feeling - that this person is feeling - for me? How fascinating. Let us see what happens next. Well, now I am not able to connect with this feeling of love again. Now, 2 seconds later, he is looking at me, and he does care about me, but I cannot get in touch with anything else, not with any more feelings.

My impression is that I am seeing my son, Alexander, but he is not showing me that J is the dad. So this is also important info. He is turning his face away from J and turning to me, and when I asked him if J is the dad, he is shaking his head no. I asked him if H is his dad, he is also shaking his head no. I asked him if there is another father and he is saying yes. So I am quite puzzled about this. Let us see what happens next. I am really really puzzled.

However I did have a feeling before this started that I may endup in Boston. I do not know.