Met this man, R who hurt me so much.
I felt this incredible connection with this person and yesterday went to his house and was hoping to stay there for the night. It was absolutely incredible!!!
The connection, the evening, but then he told me that he lost the connection and kicked me out. Totally kicked me out.
Made me sad. But then I should be happy about this. It was a transitory thing, I asked for a man who is right for right now and this is what I got. I got something that lasted one month, on and off. I asked God to have casual sex and I did have sex.
Unfortunately, I had unprotected sex and feel very bad about that. I have lots of anxiety about it. I am very scared. He is a very promiscuous man who sleeps around alot.
So I am going to go see a doctor on Friday and get tested for STDs. Then in 6 months I want to get tested for HIV and hepatitis C.
I feel so terrible about this, so terrible. First the connection was gone and he told me to get out and then now I am so tormented about not asking him to wear a condom.
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