OK, have been feeling very sad because of my ex-lover and cried in the morning. So want to count my blessings and recount what I am grateful for in general and in my interactions with him.
In general, I am grateful for
being pregnant after years of infertility
my pregnancy being so easy and smooth (knock on wood!)
living in a gorgegous place where i live
having a fantastic view from my apt
happy to have good friends around me
grateful for my mother's support emotional and financial
grateful that i have not been working and was able to focus on being pregnant and on myself
grateful i had savings and could sustain myself
grateful i discovered tango and how happy it makes me feel
grateful i met J my baby's father who gave me the biggest gift a man can give to a woman
grateful to be able to be in a very good shape and take care of myself
grateful that i feel sexy and attractive
grateful for my perseverence and attitude towards life. I never give up
grateful for my growing intuition and my strong connection with my body
grateful for the life i managed to create for myself in this foreign country
grateful that i discovered taoist practices and that i do this tao practice every day
grateful that tango makes me feel so happy.
grateful for my health
grateful for the information i receive from my guides
grateful it is sunshine outside now - it has been a loooooong winter. :)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
letter
OK, I need to write a letter (that i will not send) to my ex-lover/ex-friend. I will post it here maybe.
Also need to write down what i want to manifest in my life this year and next year. will post here as well.
Also need to write down what i want to manifest in my life this year and next year. will post here as well.
Friday, June 10, 2011
hmmm
On wednesday i felt attracted to my tango partner. WTF? I did not find him attractive before, but wednesday he was so happy, was beaming. What I like about him is that he seems to be so much into tango. He is just as crazy about it as I am. Look forward to dancing with him next week!!! But how do I contain my attraction to him? Also he does not know I am pregnant. I can still hide it under my clothes.
And have sort of like a date next sunday with a guy from Germany. That will be interesting. But for now look forward to the tango filled weekend - 6 hrs tomorrow, Sat and 3 hours on Sunday. Going to tango ball Saturday hope to get good practice there too and dance with many experienced men so that I can learn from them.
To me, tango is like sex. But in sex I can express myself quite well, but in tango I feel I do not know how to express myself yet, but hopefully this will be helped a bit tomorrow at my workshop.
And have sort of like a date next sunday with a guy from Germany. That will be interesting. But for now look forward to the tango filled weekend - 6 hrs tomorrow, Sat and 3 hours on Sunday. Going to tango ball Saturday hope to get good practice there too and dance with many experienced men so that I can learn from them.
To me, tango is like sex. But in sex I can express myself quite well, but in tango I feel I do not know how to express myself yet, but hopefully this will be helped a bit tomorrow at my workshop.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
have been "progressed" into the future
Last year (2010) my coach "progressed" me as opposed to regressed me into the future. This is what I saw. When I am 40,5, 42 and 43, I saw myself with a man in an apartment. The surroundings outside were snow -covered streets. it was in the suburbs somewhere and the place reminded me of Germany but I do not know where it is.
When I was 46 - there was a little girl that was my own daughter. I am living in the house, nice cozy house. There is a man in the house and I was sure that this little girl was mine. not from a donor egg but from my own egg. Her hair is exactly like mine but lighter (her father has lighter hair so it makes sense). She is so gentle and so pure and we have such a strong heart-to-heart connection! That encouraged my belief that I can have my own biological child but of course, I had doubts.
There was snow outside the house.
When I am 50 yo I reach a place where I feel a lot of harmony and happiness inside me. I am working for myself, connecting children with their parents (not sure if it is adoption or something else that brings mothers /parents who cannot or could not have babies together with their babies. I saw myself as a "blue fairy" that grants people their most sacred wish - that of motherhood or parenthood. Already start feeling tears in my eyes as I write about this.
Ok from this regression showed me that I will be in a country with snow. I have a job in a big office. A big international corporation. Huge building. Blue fairy is gifted at making the right match between mothers and children. She (I) make women mothers and grant their most sacred wish. Not sure if this is a company I open that deals with adoptions or organization that deals with children or products for children. I have no idea. But let's see.
My sweet little soulmate child is on her way to me. Now need to find a job to support her and a man who will be her father. Needs to be the right father for her. I am in a fortunate position where I can select her father.
When I was 46 - there was a little girl that was my own daughter. I am living in the house, nice cozy house. There is a man in the house and I was sure that this little girl was mine. not from a donor egg but from my own egg. Her hair is exactly like mine but lighter (her father has lighter hair so it makes sense). She is so gentle and so pure and we have such a strong heart-to-heart connection! That encouraged my belief that I can have my own biological child but of course, I had doubts.
There was snow outside the house.
When I am 50 yo I reach a place where I feel a lot of harmony and happiness inside me. I am working for myself, connecting children with their parents (not sure if it is adoption or something else that brings mothers /parents who cannot or could not have babies together with their babies. I saw myself as a "blue fairy" that grants people their most sacred wish - that of motherhood or parenthood. Already start feeling tears in my eyes as I write about this.
Ok from this regression showed me that I will be in a country with snow. I have a job in a big office. A big international corporation. Huge building. Blue fairy is gifted at making the right match between mothers and children. She (I) make women mothers and grant their most sacred wish. Not sure if this is a company I open that deals with adoptions or organization that deals with children or products for children. I have no idea. But let's see.
My sweet little soulmate child is on her way to me. Now need to find a job to support her and a man who will be her father. Needs to be the right father for her. I am in a fortunate position where I can select her father.
I am tired of my lover's mysteries
I am sick and tired of my lover's mysteries. I feel I need to end the way things are. Tomorrow we are going to meet and talk and I will tell him how I feel. I do not want to hang in in this uncertainty, not knowing what is going on. I will focus on the positives and will find out what he wants to do and take it from there.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
what's happening with me and my lover
OK what is happening with me and my lover who is also my friend? He became non-responsive without telling me that he does not want to be with me anymore. I asked him when i am going to see him - no response. Sent him a link with a movie I want to see - no response. Did he meet someone else? Is he tired of me?
My guides told me not to jump to conclusions and it is not what I think. His purpose in my life is not over. he is a great friend in the time of need. I asked if we are going to have a sexual relationship and the answer was yes, for the time being. So where is this damn sex? I am pregnant and I need it. And want to feel close to him, smell him, touch him. OK, the 6 healing sounds practice is really helping me to calm down, so I will let it go and stop contacting him for now. He has some emergency stuff at work until the first week of June. I will wait until then and see what happens.
My guides told me not to jump to conclusions and it is not what I think. His purpose in my life is not over. he is a great friend in the time of need. I asked if we are going to have a sexual relationship and the answer was yes, for the time being. So where is this damn sex? I am pregnant and I need it. And want to feel close to him, smell him, touch him. OK, the 6 healing sounds practice is really helping me to calm down, so I will let it go and stop contacting him for now. He has some emergency stuff at work until the first week of June. I will wait until then and see what happens.
Angel reading from my friend Z.
Z. came a couple of weeks ago to give me angel readings.
The first question I asked was about my divine partner. I think it was whether I will meet him or not? I can't remember.
OK. the first card she got was AA Michael "You can do it" The interpretatiion of it was find the blessings in your current situation. For me it means using hypnosis to be happy.
View yourself through the eyes of the person u'd like to meet and get to know ??? cant understand now what it says.
I need to clear and shield my energy in my living space.
The first part was what I should pay attention to -To stay focused, not get distracted and be happy.
What is blocking - Energy healing- avoid situations with negative energy.
Positive outcome - balance career and home life - this is a must for me now, since my baby is coming.
Extra card - Teacher the time is coming that I give knowledge to others.
OK but this reassured me that my divine partner is coming. That was very clear.
The next question I asked was what should I do in my life professionally.
1. You are seeing the situation accurately - Horus. I need to pay attention to old Egyptian wisdom.
2. Father, hysand, brother, son - Osiris, let go of all the old hurt in connection with men in your life - I hold a lot of anger from old time, and need to let it go.
Update 25.5.11 Strangely enough I have been doing tao practice called 6 healing sounds where you release anger among other things, and this anger is stored in the liver.
3. Follow your heart - St. Francis. Trust yourself, trust in the situation. The universe will ensure that my needs are met. Yes, this is what I need to hear now. I also got this message that I am safe and protected, no harm can come to me. Just want I need, given the situation of me not having a job.
Next question.
I asked what I should do/keep in mind to be a better mother
1. Wise decision - guardian angel -trust in your inner wisdom. You cannot make the wrong decision. Trust you make the right decisions and that your decisions are wise. Do not let anything distract you from your decisions.
Holding wisdom in my arms - I am divine mother holding an owl in my arms - close to my heart. Let go of how I used to make decisions in the past. Follow my heart, be your own boss, do not be afraid.
2. You found it - St. Anthony of Padua. I found something I lost, pay attention if I feel I lost myself or lost something else - need to know if I found it already. Keep faith that I found or will soon find what I was looking for. This situation is what I was looking for. Call AA Chamuel if I lose something. Can't lose my way as long as I am connected to my heart.
Keep faith and confidence in myself. Pause if feel somebody dragging me in the wrong direction. Do not let people distract me from my path.
Pause - look inside myself and connect with myself if too tired. Will know which ppl to ask for help or advice and which ppl not to ask for advice. Need to be patient. Have to get to core to things when u make decisions - can only do it when in harmony. Hold on to your heart and your core.
Stay focused on your inner truth when you get a child. Important to relax and catch a breath before you move on in whateer matter - will be a success story.
3. Pause - guardian angel, beautiful woman, color, state of mind. Taking a break to take care of myself, my inner peace and my well being.
The first question I asked was about my divine partner. I think it was whether I will meet him or not? I can't remember.
OK. the first card she got was AA Michael "You can do it" The interpretatiion of it was find the blessings in your current situation. For me it means using hypnosis to be happy.
View yourself through the eyes of the person u'd like to meet and get to know ??? cant understand now what it says.
I need to clear and shield my energy in my living space.
The first part was what I should pay attention to -To stay focused, not get distracted and be happy.
What is blocking - Energy healing- avoid situations with negative energy.
Positive outcome - balance career and home life - this is a must for me now, since my baby is coming.
Extra card - Teacher the time is coming that I give knowledge to others.
OK but this reassured me that my divine partner is coming. That was very clear.
The next question I asked was what should I do in my life professionally.
1. You are seeing the situation accurately - Horus. I need to pay attention to old Egyptian wisdom.
2. Father, hysand, brother, son - Osiris, let go of all the old hurt in connection with men in your life - I hold a lot of anger from old time, and need to let it go.
Update 25.5.11 Strangely enough I have been doing tao practice called 6 healing sounds where you release anger among other things, and this anger is stored in the liver.
3. Follow your heart - St. Francis. Trust yourself, trust in the situation. The universe will ensure that my needs are met. Yes, this is what I need to hear now. I also got this message that I am safe and protected, no harm can come to me. Just want I need, given the situation of me not having a job.
Next question.
I asked what I should do/keep in mind to be a better mother
1. Wise decision - guardian angel -trust in your inner wisdom. You cannot make the wrong decision. Trust you make the right decisions and that your decisions are wise. Do not let anything distract you from your decisions.
Holding wisdom in my arms - I am divine mother holding an owl in my arms - close to my heart. Let go of how I used to make decisions in the past. Follow my heart, be your own boss, do not be afraid.
2. You found it - St. Anthony of Padua. I found something I lost, pay attention if I feel I lost myself or lost something else - need to know if I found it already. Keep faith that I found or will soon find what I was looking for. This situation is what I was looking for. Call AA Chamuel if I lose something. Can't lose my way as long as I am connected to my heart.
Keep faith and confidence in myself. Pause if feel somebody dragging me in the wrong direction. Do not let people distract me from my path.
Pause - look inside myself and connect with myself if too tired. Will know which ppl to ask for help or advice and which ppl not to ask for advice. Need to be patient. Have to get to core to things when u make decisions - can only do it when in harmony. Hold on to your heart and your core.
Stay focused on your inner truth when you get a child. Important to relax and catch a breath before you move on in whateer matter - will be a success story.
3. Pause - guardian angel, beautiful woman, color, state of mind. Taking a break to take care of myself, my inner peace and my well being.
More about H and my baby - something i found that i wrote more than 2 years ago
I wrote this more than 2 years ago, some time in 2009 I think before I left H.
I hate loose pieces of papers, that is why I have to transcribe it here.
This is what it says. "My love life is non-existent. I long for a partner who is there emotionally or physically (and H was not). I stay in relationship that needs to end, and it makes me sick and depressed.
I want a partner who will encourage me to pursue my divie purpose. Who will be happy when I'm happy. I want to be in a flow with him together. The 2 of us flowing far away, the synergies ever before imagined.
Next steps - I need to leave H, as the relationship ran its course. Going to Russia where you meet your destiny.
What is my heart's desire? To have a child, to have my baby girl holding me and me holding her.
Update 25.5.11 As I am writing this, I have tears i my eyes. Yesterday I tried to talk to my baby to tell her how much I love her, but got chocked up in emotions. Had a dream last night about holding my baby and kissing her, and I could not get enough of that or feeling my face and lips against her skin. So overwhelming. Have tears in my eyes now as I type this.
What steps should I take to make it reality?
Leave H, he is stopping you from being reunited with your daughter.
What is blocking me from getting this now? H. Your relationship is over. He is not the right father for the child.
Update 25.5.11 I completely forgot I wrote this and just found it now and had goosebumps as I read it. I saw H last week and kept thinking that he would not be the right father for my child. And also talked to my mother about this 2 weeks ago.
I hate loose pieces of papers, that is why I have to transcribe it here.
This is what it says. "My love life is non-existent. I long for a partner who is there emotionally or physically (and H was not). I stay in relationship that needs to end, and it makes me sick and depressed.
I want a partner who will encourage me to pursue my divie purpose. Who will be happy when I'm happy. I want to be in a flow with him together. The 2 of us flowing far away, the synergies ever before imagined.
Next steps - I need to leave H, as the relationship ran its course. Going to Russia where you meet your destiny.
What is my heart's desire? To have a child, to have my baby girl holding me and me holding her.
Update 25.5.11 As I am writing this, I have tears i my eyes. Yesterday I tried to talk to my baby to tell her how much I love her, but got chocked up in emotions. Had a dream last night about holding my baby and kissing her, and I could not get enough of that or feeling my face and lips against her skin. So overwhelming. Have tears in my eyes now as I type this.
What steps should I take to make it reality?
Leave H, he is stopping you from being reunited with your daughter.
What is blocking me from getting this now? H. Your relationship is over. He is not the right father for the child.
Update 25.5.11 I completely forgot I wrote this and just found it now and had goosebumps as I read it. I saw H last week and kept thinking that he would not be the right father for my child. And also talked to my mother about this 2 weeks ago.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
being kicked out of the country
i was told today that i have until 20 may to leave this fucking paradise. what a sucky timing! Right now the only place where I can go to is home to the states, but i do not want to go there. I hope the job in europe will manifest itself. keeping fingers crossed! IN the states I have no health insurance and here in Europe I do.
For now I am appealing but i would not be surprized if my appeal would be rejected.
For now I am appealing but i would not be surprized if my appeal would be rejected.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
what I want to manifest in 2011
Feeling beautiful, gorgeous, loved, cared for COnfidence with job, interviews, men Increased feeling of self- worth Loving caring and respectful relationship wiht my mom Continued perfect healt Beautiful dense hair Feeling happy all the time no matter what happens to me Being in a relationship with my divine partner Having full control over what I eat A family Being slim and having a perfect body A job that's perfect for me leading me closer to my mission A perfect job for me at the moment Abundance, financial abundance Lavish lifestyle Love, lots of it Lots of self-love Lots of great sex and intimacy Living in a city where I love to live Living in an apartment or a house that I love My place being a paradise Being organized, clean, having things in order in my living space A dog A child
Sunday, March 27, 2011
From my inner lingam - Workshop Yoniversal Wisdom 2
1. Listen to yourself 2. Cherish yourself 3. Pas på who you let into your yoni 4. CHerish your yoni, it is sacred 5. You are a sacred temple, and need to be treated as such 6. Be blessed, be cherished, be worshipped 7. Say no. Learn to set boundaries. 8 Your yoni has been disrespected. 9. Nurse its wounds. Heal it. 10. Do it with an open heart. Be vulnerable 11. Only let men in who do it out of love 12. Let love be your guiding force 13. Get in touch with your power, your feminine power 14. Be careful which dick you let in and whom you fuck. Only do it out of love. 15. Be yourself always, be authentic, be honest 16. Sex will connect you with universal love, that is its purpose 17. Creating connection between hearts, and minds of 2 lovers, bringing you closer to God. 18 Find a tantra partner 19. Continue on your tantric path 20. Let love show you the way. 21 Strive to be closer to God, for you are a goddess 22. Only sacred sex for you 23 Love and respect for your yoni. Touch it more. Give it pleasure. It earns to be loved. When your heart is open, your yoni is open. Love will heal you. Words: sacred, holy, sacred sex, love your yoni, love sacred sex
what my yoni told me - from the Yoniversal Wisdom workshop
You are worthy, you are a Goddess in the making. Love yourself. It is the journey and not the destination. You have a long journey ahead of you. Get in touch with your power, your feminine power. Use your inner wisdom. Purify yourself. You are safe and divinely protected. No harm can come to you. Take more risks in your life. Do not be afraid to be vulnerable. Show your vulnerability. It will pay off. I love you, do not be afraid to be you, to be who you really are. Use your power, your femininity. Be a woman you really are. You are the sun. Comfort yourself for soon you'll nurture another. Words: Beauty, you are beautiful, you are loved. Love passion, vulnerability, POWER, wisdom. Cherish yourself. Pictures: Third eye that is crying because I do not always listen. Heart, sun, moon, yoni enveloping me with a word saying "safe"
Saturday, March 19, 2011
well what doya know, I am pregnant
OK, big news- I am pregnant. 11w 5d today. Saw my baby on the ultrasound today, it or should I say she (I think it is a girl) was moving a lot, and I was so overwhelmed I was crying. now the baby is becoming very real, before it was hard to believe it, but now i had these thoughts what the fuck am I going to do now?!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
what am I grateful for today
I am grateful because the spring is coming. It feels WONDERFUL. I have discovered my new passion - cooking. I cannot stop cooking. This is really really great.
The thing with BG is going thru so that H and I can separate. My friends came for dinner, very grateful that I had company and could take care of them. Was grateful for an insightful seminar this weekend.
I am grateful because I m anticipating that tomorrow I will be cooking again. IT is wonderful. I am grateful because the sun shone today and yesterday and it was fantastic. I am grateful because I did my detox today and did not eat anything. I could do it! I had the will power. My trip to the UK is coming up and I am really looking forward to that.
The thing with BG is going thru so that H and I can separate. My friends came for dinner, very grateful that I had company and could take care of them. Was grateful for an insightful seminar this weekend.
I am grateful because I m anticipating that tomorrow I will be cooking again. IT is wonderful. I am grateful because the sun shone today and yesterday and it was fantastic. I am grateful because I did my detox today and did not eat anything. I could do it! I had the will power. My trip to the UK is coming up and I am really looking forward to that.
my 10 reasons why I am grateful for leaving H
Why am I grateful for leaving H
1. I learned that being with him was making me ill. I was getting so sick and now have a chance to recover.
2. I am feeling at a much higher vibrational level than I was when I was with him
3. I am much much happier without him so much I cannot now understand why I spent such a long time with him.
4. I am free and can decide how to live my life
5. I can decide where I am going to live. SO I can pick the place that really resonates with the real me.
6. I don't need to ask him for advice. Much of his advice was not useful and was fear based not love based
7. This has given me courage to follow my heart in other decisions. I can see that I left him and I am ok.
8. My life is more exciting now, more vibrant after I left him
9. I am rediscovering myself, who I am.
10 I have a real chance at love, meeting a man whose heart open to me, my divine partner.
11 I have a real chance at having a family, it was not meant to be for us to have a family.
1. I learned that being with him was making me ill. I was getting so sick and now have a chance to recover.
2. I am feeling at a much higher vibrational level than I was when I was with him
3. I am much much happier without him so much I cannot now understand why I spent such a long time with him.
4. I am free and can decide how to live my life
5. I can decide where I am going to live. SO I can pick the place that really resonates with the real me.
6. I don't need to ask him for advice. Much of his advice was not useful and was fear based not love based
7. This has given me courage to follow my heart in other decisions. I can see that I left him and I am ok.
8. My life is more exciting now, more vibrant after I left him
9. I am rediscovering myself, who I am.
10 I have a real chance at love, meeting a man whose heart open to me, my divine partner.
11 I have a real chance at having a family, it was not meant to be for us to have a family.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
what am I grateful for today?
Am grateful for today as I had a fantastic day. Had a nice visit by my colleagues, the food turned out great, it was a very cozy evening.
Grateful today, had a nice walk and also had plenty of sleep last night. I rule!!! Grateful that I am here by myself without my roommate. It is so nice!!!
Grateful today, had a nice walk and also had plenty of sleep last night. I rule!!! Grateful that I am here by myself without my roommate. It is so nice!!!
my colleagues visit today
Today my colleagues came to have dinner with me. I cooked and cooked. I put so much love into my cooking. Was so happy they came. I made a fantastic bresaola salad with ruccola and parmegan cheese. The main course was chicken with oranges and apricots and for desert I made creme brulee. It was fantastic!!!
I was so happy and happy I could cook for them and give them some warmth and niceness.
They liked the food and asked me for the recipees of the main course.
I was so happy and happy I could cook for them and give them some warmth and niceness.
They liked the food and asked me for the recipees of the main course.
Monday, February 15, 2010
what am i grateful for today?
I am grateful that i had a nice day, went to the sauna today grateful to be alone in my apartment. Thank you, God.
Grateful for all my clients. Sending them healing green light. Grateful that there are plenty of jobs out there. Grateful that i am getting better and better every day. Grateful I decided what I am going to cook for my colleauges. This is nice. I feel so warm and cozy about that. Grateful that I don't have to work for 4 days. It is so nice!
grateful that my white angel bear, Putin, is watching over me. Grateful to be surrounded by so many men. Grateful i found a partner for my tantra class on 1 March. Yey!!! Grateful for all these opportunities I have here, grateful that tomorrow I am starting Chi Gong. Grateful I understood that my lifestyle was wrong and I can correct it. From now on, the only thing that matters in my life is my mission and love.
Grateful that people i dont need are leaving my life or have left or will leave very soon.
Grateful for all my clients. Sending them healing green light. Grateful that there are plenty of jobs out there. Grateful that i am getting better and better every day. Grateful I decided what I am going to cook for my colleauges. This is nice. I feel so warm and cozy about that. Grateful that I don't have to work for 4 days. It is so nice!
grateful that my white angel bear, Putin, is watching over me. Grateful to be surrounded by so many men. Grateful i found a partner for my tantra class on 1 March. Yey!!! Grateful for all these opportunities I have here, grateful that tomorrow I am starting Chi Gong. Grateful I understood that my lifestyle was wrong and I can correct it. From now on, the only thing that matters in my life is my mission and love.
Grateful that people i dont need are leaving my life or have left or will leave very soon.
winter swimming
went winterswimming with 2 friends yesterday. Felt amazing, the sea was 0 degrees. But today do not feel so good. I think i overdid it. I planned to go winter swimming every day but i can see it is not a good idea.
today feel weak, moody and depressed and loosing more hair.
This is the thing - when I get moody, I eat more. Then the hair starts falling out. I am sure there is something hormonal going on or maybe not? Or maybe the hair is falling out because i eat more??? the thing is i did not meditate this morning - so see the results immediately.
today i felt a bit apathetic, but managed to get books in the library about cooking.
today feel weak, moody and depressed and loosing more hair.
This is the thing - when I get moody, I eat more. Then the hair starts falling out. I am sure there is something hormonal going on or maybe not? Or maybe the hair is falling out because i eat more??? the thing is i did not meditate this morning - so see the results immediately.
today i felt a bit apathetic, but managed to get books in the library about cooking.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
future
somehow even though I am almost unemployed, I do not feel I need to do anything until mid-March. In mid-march something will turn up that could turn out to be something.
it is a bit strange but i feel like my new job or role is in the making right now. something is cooking.
but now i need to use this time to heal myself.
it is a bit strange but i feel like my new job or role is in the making right now. something is cooking.
but now i need to use this time to heal myself.
gratitude
what am I grateful for today?
I am grateful that I had a very nice and quiet day. I had lots of´food that i love - NUTS, which i really enjoyed. I went to the spa, enjoyed the sauna. Enjoyed 3 hours of sleep. that was very refreshing.
I am grateful to have been of service to 2 people today to whom I channelled messages. One of them just sent me a BIG thank you. I am grateful that she appreciated what I had to say and took my advice to heart. I am grateful that tomorrow i am going to do winter swimming. Greateful for my home being so beautiful and so peaceful. Grateful that it is clean. I am grateful that I dont have money concerns or fears related to money even though I quit my job. I am grateful because I know that they (the Spirit) is supporting me.
I am also grateful for the reading I received today regarding my career. So grateful. Moved me to tears.
"Children and guiding children seems to be a service you are gifted in. I see you assisting children who cross over and communicate with their loved ones here. Children trust you so much. I feel like you work with children at night in your sleep too.
I see your spirit guides and deceased love ones around you now; very strongly and many. It seems like your communication with them flows easily and strongly and they are doing everything possible to assist you in preparing for your future. They are preparing ahead of you before your get to the new place you are going to go, so that it is an easy transition for you. This will be a smooth transition. They are lining up a place to live and opportunities that would allow you to set up shop if you will. You will wonder how all these miracles occurred. Trust that it was those on the other side that are doing so much work for you. You have like a huge entourage. You are like a celebrity with all of these assistants making sure that when you arrive everything is in order for you. Wow there is not way you could ever feel alone. It's like a big group hug.
So not to worry because the next place you go is divinely guided. It is not a coincidence you are making this move. It is perfect and it will be better for you. A new world is opening up for you. Your vibration too has changed and this new place will support this much more.Don't worry is the next message. Open your arms to heaven a receive the blessings coming to you. Although, these changes seems a little scary know what you are more then well cared for."
I loved this!
Grateful to have had the time for myself today, grateful that i am feeling better and better every day.
I am grateful that I had a very nice and quiet day. I had lots of´food that i love - NUTS, which i really enjoyed. I went to the spa, enjoyed the sauna. Enjoyed 3 hours of sleep. that was very refreshing.
I am grateful to have been of service to 2 people today to whom I channelled messages. One of them just sent me a BIG thank you. I am grateful that she appreciated what I had to say and took my advice to heart. I am grateful that tomorrow i am going to do winter swimming. Greateful for my home being so beautiful and so peaceful. Grateful that it is clean. I am grateful that I dont have money concerns or fears related to money even though I quit my job. I am grateful because I know that they (the Spirit) is supporting me.
I am also grateful for the reading I received today regarding my career. So grateful. Moved me to tears.
"Children and guiding children seems to be a service you are gifted in. I see you assisting children who cross over and communicate with their loved ones here. Children trust you so much. I feel like you work with children at night in your sleep too.
I see your spirit guides and deceased love ones around you now; very strongly and many. It seems like your communication with them flows easily and strongly and they are doing everything possible to assist you in preparing for your future. They are preparing ahead of you before your get to the new place you are going to go, so that it is an easy transition for you. This will be a smooth transition. They are lining up a place to live and opportunities that would allow you to set up shop if you will. You will wonder how all these miracles occurred. Trust that it was those on the other side that are doing so much work for you. You have like a huge entourage. You are like a celebrity with all of these assistants making sure that when you arrive everything is in order for you. Wow there is not way you could ever feel alone. It's like a big group hug.
So not to worry because the next place you go is divinely guided. It is not a coincidence you are making this move. It is perfect and it will be better for you. A new world is opening up for you. Your vibration too has changed and this new place will support this much more.Don't worry is the next message. Open your arms to heaven a receive the blessings coming to you. Although, these changes seems a little scary know what you are more then well cared for."
I loved this!
Grateful to have had the time for myself today, grateful that i am feeling better and better every day.
diet
my impression is that when I overeat, my hairloss increases. that would make sense. that would block my spleen meridian which is also somehow connected with teh liver meridian which is connected to the hair loss.
i also stopped doing inner smile meditation. but i do do iron shirt. Have not been at work yesterday, will rest for 5 days straight. will see how the hair thing goes. tomorrow going to do winter swimming. I think it helps me too.
I got a strong message that my hair loss will stop very soon. i am also being guided to do liquid diet for 5 days. Starting Monday I will do it. I just need to buy a juicer.
i also exercised today which was only 10 min on precor. It did not go well with my body. after 6 min, i did not feel well so had to decrease the intensity but still was not good. I barely made it to 10 min. but i also was not in a good mood today. i don't know if the mood comes by itself or affected by changing hormones. I did not have hot flashes for several days. I am happy about that.
yesterday (last night) i also did not do my breathing and today, more hair fell out.
however my sleep has been relatively oK. i do wake up but can go back to sleep. I think that the sleep is related to stress and the neurotransmitters are involved somehow. I just cannot get the relationship yet.
i also stopped doing inner smile meditation. but i do do iron shirt. Have not been at work yesterday, will rest for 5 days straight. will see how the hair thing goes. tomorrow going to do winter swimming. I think it helps me too.
I got a strong message that my hair loss will stop very soon. i am also being guided to do liquid diet for 5 days. Starting Monday I will do it. I just need to buy a juicer.
i also exercised today which was only 10 min on precor. It did not go well with my body. after 6 min, i did not feel well so had to decrease the intensity but still was not good. I barely made it to 10 min. but i also was not in a good mood today. i don't know if the mood comes by itself or affected by changing hormones. I did not have hot flashes for several days. I am happy about that.
yesterday (last night) i also did not do my breathing and today, more hair fell out.
however my sleep has been relatively oK. i do wake up but can go back to sleep. I think that the sleep is related to stress and the neurotransmitters are involved somehow. I just cannot get the relationship yet.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
itch
i noticed that when I eat soups and vegetables, the itching is less, so I need to go with it. Now I am also trying the alkaline diet. Let's see.
my inner journey -and my book of shadows
This will recount my inner journey I experienced when I met with O.d.B in LA.
I had to take dep breaths while she rattled around me. Then she guided me for a walk in the forest -> then I got to a cave.
A guide met me at the entrance of the cave. He looked like Chirstopher Lee in the Lord of the Ring movies, with white long hair and long beard. He was wearing white robe, with gold ornaments. He also had a long "hat" that had a cylindrical shape, but I am not sure if it was round around the edges or not. The hat was also white.
He took me to the first room which I heard was a room of the womb (but was supposed to be a room of my wounds, so I did not hear it correctly). The room was completely white, with some bareliyef in front. There was also en empty chair it the room.
I received the message that they are preparing me to be an angel, something about me bieng in the angelic realm. That scared me a little that I was going to die soon.
Next room was my gift, where my gift was. I walked in and saw a big statue of a man reading a book. He looked very strict. Then in this room my guide gave me this beautiful book - red velvet with stones and a pen (like they used to use in the old days, ink pen).
The book was empty. I took it that I am supposed to fill it up with stuff. Do not know what it was for or was it a journal?
Next room was a room of grace. I saw this transluscent being that looked sort of like a heart, but with wings. It wanted to hug me with its wings, but I was afraid, so it did not hug me.
Then the next room was a room with my contract - the contract was with H. It looked like put together piece of paper inside 2 leather holders. It said to me that the contract was with H and I need to destroy it as my purpose with him was over. I threw it into the fire inside a fireplace and it burned.
Then on my way back I met a new guide, panda bear, but had a hard time holding on to him. On the boat, all I had with me was the book with a pen.
I did not know what the book was for, so O. tried to help me figure out the purpose of the book. First I saw my guide telling me, start writing, you are ready. Then when O. blew air into my navel, and moved away, I cleared heard. "The book of Shadows". So here it is. It was an incredible experience and after this I knew I was a witch who was ready for being who she is.
I had to take dep breaths while she rattled around me. Then she guided me for a walk in the forest -> then I got to a cave.
A guide met me at the entrance of the cave. He looked like Chirstopher Lee in the Lord of the Ring movies, with white long hair and long beard. He was wearing white robe, with gold ornaments. He also had a long "hat" that had a cylindrical shape, but I am not sure if it was round around the edges or not. The hat was also white.
He took me to the first room which I heard was a room of the womb (but was supposed to be a room of my wounds, so I did not hear it correctly). The room was completely white, with some bareliyef in front. There was also en empty chair it the room.
I received the message that they are preparing me to be an angel, something about me bieng in the angelic realm. That scared me a little that I was going to die soon.
Next room was my gift, where my gift was. I walked in and saw a big statue of a man reading a book. He looked very strict. Then in this room my guide gave me this beautiful book - red velvet with stones and a pen (like they used to use in the old days, ink pen).
The book was empty. I took it that I am supposed to fill it up with stuff. Do not know what it was for or was it a journal?
Next room was a room of grace. I saw this transluscent being that looked sort of like a heart, but with wings. It wanted to hug me with its wings, but I was afraid, so it did not hug me.
Then the next room was a room with my contract - the contract was with H. It looked like put together piece of paper inside 2 leather holders. It said to me that the contract was with H and I need to destroy it as my purpose with him was over. I threw it into the fire inside a fireplace and it burned.
Then on my way back I met a new guide, panda bear, but had a hard time holding on to him. On the boat, all I had with me was the book with a pen.
I did not know what the book was for, so O. tried to help me figure out the purpose of the book. First I saw my guide telling me, start writing, you are ready. Then when O. blew air into my navel, and moved away, I cleared heard. "The book of Shadows". So here it is. It was an incredible experience and after this I knew I was a witch who was ready for being who she is.
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